Preface:
Here are the twelve rules of life I have come up with based on nearly three decades of moderately worldly living. Unlike other divine commandments, these rules are subject to revision. I might wake up tomorrow and decide that a rule doesn’t make sense or you, my dearest reader, might tell me that a particular rule was detrimental to your well being — your feedback to the following list, therefore, is of extreme importance!
- Tie your laces, or better still buy shoes without them, like a loafer or heels.
- Be friendly towards those with rooftops and boats.
- A good zinger is worth a thousand arguments.
- On Tuesdays, wear turtleneck.
- Take your trash out before it smells.
- When in doubt, make things up.
- Worry not about the kind of planet we’re leaving to our kids, but about the kind of kids we’re leaving to our planet.
- A duel is often the easiest way to settle conflicts.
- Pursue what is monetizable.
- A garlic press is usually a good investment.
- Be wary of people with fewer than ten thousand followers.
- Learn how to cook rice; you never know when you are going to need it.